Let’s Cook Together

Almost anything you can do that gives you an opportunity to work together can be romantic. Cooking together is no exception. It’s probably one of the best ways to have fun together and at the end, you have a lovely meal to enjoy. Start by choosing the recipes that you both love, or try something new that looks good. Divide jobs between the two of you, strap on some aprons (if you have them) and get cooking.

If you want to keep it truly romantic, it helps to do some planning ahead of time. Choose the menu, and prepare anything that needs to be prepared ahead of time. Divide the jobs for cooking between the two of you so that you can avoid any disagreements while you’re cooking. Disagreements can seriously detract from the romance and are unnecessary if everything is agreed upon earlier.

Before you start cooking, set the table. Use the best that you have. If you have cloth napkins and napkin rings, this is a great time to use them. If you have fine china, use it, but if not, your regular dishes will do. Goblets for drinks are fantastic to use. A tablecloth on the table is a beautiful touch, and looks best if it contrasts with the dishes. If you want to make it extra special, you can even add a centerpiece of flowers from the grocery store. Fill the glasses and refrigerate if necessary.

Once the table is set, it’s time to start cooking. Prepare all pots, pans, utensils and ingredients so you can grab things as you need them. Enjoy preparing your meal together. After the meal is prepared, plate it elegantly, and move it to the table. Bring out the drinks. Light the candles. Make sure dessert is ready to bring to the table when your meal is done. Now is the time to talk and enjoy one another’s company. Talk about the things that you love. Talk about the things that bring you together. Talk about your hopes, your dreams, and everything that makes your relationship special.

Cooking together is something that my husband and I do regularly, and we do enjoy every minute of it. We take these opportunities to grow closer to one another. We talk about our plans for the future. We talk about things that are important to us. We don’t ban talking about the children, but we do make sure that we talk about other things as well. Cooking is romantic and fun for us, and I hope it can be for you, too. 

Finding Time For One Another

One of the main complaints of any couple that needs more romance in their lives tends to be a question of how to find the time. Finding time for romance in modern life can truly be a challenge. There can be demands from family, asking you to spend time with them. Children require full time care. There are very few jobs out there that are going to be understanding about you needing to spend time with your spouse. In the end, the only people that can prioritize your relationship are you and your spouse.

Start by finding time just to spend together when there are no other demands on the two of you for your time. It can be in the evenings after the children are in bed, but before you go to bed. It can even be in the mornings before the children are awake for the day. When my husband was on a night shift at one point in time, I would wake up when he came home and we would watch the sunrise together. It was very romantic, if somewhat unconventional. It was time we set aside for one another.

Turn off your phones during time that you have set aside for one another. Sometimes you can be in the middle of a quiet moment only to have it interrupted by a phone call out of nowhere. Even if you think it’s a time that no one is likely to be calling, turn the phones off to be safe. My husband and I have been interrupted as early as 5:00 am, and as late as midnight, so turn those phones off and use the time you have set aside for your spouse and your spouse alone. You still may be interrupted on occasion, but most of the time, you will have that time to enjoy one another, and talk and listen to each other. If you are interrupted, you can simply take it in stride, especially if your time together is a regular thing. If the interruptions are happening regularly, something may have to give somewhere. You may have to choose a different time, or address the cause of the interruptions, depending on the situation.  

It's also important to find time occasionally to get out of the house together.  That can be a little bit more challenging, especially if you have children, but can still be done. On those occasions, you may have to think about hiring a babysitter, or even relying on friends or family to watch your children. The best thing you can do is to find someone you trust implicitly with your children, and work with them to find time to be able to go out on occasion. If you haven’t been away from your children very often, it may take them time to get used to the idea, but they will, and they’ll be learning more independence while you are enjoying yours.

Finding time can truly be one of the biggest challenges of bringing romance into your relationship. It’s also worth it, because it helps you to relieve stress, and to do what you need to do to make your relationship stronger.  

The Little Things That Matter

It has become cliché to say that it’s the little things that matter, but the bottom line is that it really is true. However, sometimes the little things are not necessarily what we think they are at first. When people think of little things, they often think of things like little gifts and doing favors for one another. That’s not to say that those things aren’t romantic, because they are, but sometimes there are other little things that matter more.  These are the little things that come through in our words and actions. They are the things that we don’t think about, but that truly make a difference in our relationships and how others feel about us.

One of the little things that matters most is saying thank you often. Say thank you for even the most mundane of things and say thank you to your partner for doing their part. Thank your spouse for taking out the trash. Thank your husband for doing the laundry. Thank your wife for taking care of the children. It shows that you do not take them for granted and that you appreciate their contributions. It’s surprising how far this goes in keeping one another happy. Knowing you are appreciated helps you to feel more loved and therefore, puts you more in the mood for romance.

Another little thing that really matters is your attitude toward one another. Sometimes, even though you ultimately respect your partner, a disrespectful tone can creep into your voice. It may be because you’re concentrating on something else. It might be because you don’t want to be bothered right now. Either way, it’s not good for your relationship. Get in the habit of being kind to your significant other no matter what. When they ask for your attention and you’re busy, take at least a moment to tell them that you can be with them shortly. Just a few kind words can make the difference between a good interaction and a bad one.

Sincerely complimenting your partner can also go a long way toward romance. Remember that compliments do need to go beyond simply telling your wife that she looks pretty or your husband how good he looks. Compliment your spouse’s ideas and opinions. Compliment when your husband or wife cooks a fantastic meal. All of this goes right along with saying thank you for the mundane. It makes a difference.

A big part of romance is about loving and appreciating one another. These small things show that love. Never be afraid of being too sappy because that’s what romance is really all about. 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Romance begins with respect. If you don't respect the person you're with, any attempts at romance are going to seem superficial and insincere. Roses and chocolates from someone who shows nothing but disdain for your thoughts and opinions does little to make you feel valued and may even make you feel even more as if you're not being listened to. On the other hand, if you do respect one another and feel valued and respected yourself, even simple, mundane acts such as doing the dishes or taking out the trash can seem like romantic gestures.

Where respect is concerned, it means listening to, and truly caring what your partner has to say. It means valuing their thoughts and opinions enough to let them be voiced. It means valuing and listening to your spouse's boundaries. It means listening with an open mind if they want to try something new, but being understanding if they feel uncomfortable with something you want. It means giving more than you take willingly and freely (or at least more than you feel like you're taking). It means taking the golden rule seriously and treating your partner with the same love and devotion that you expect from them.

Respect can be a difficult thing to show in today's day and age. It's not always easy to trust your partner to treat you as well as you treat them. However, most of the time, they will. If not, then you probably need to be looking for another type of blog.

Respecting another person's boundaries may not always be easy. Sometimes that can mean giving your partner a little bit of space when you really would prefer to talk things out. Other times, it could mean giving up something that you were really hoping to be able to do because your partner is uncomfortable with it. It may mean going to a party or social event when you'd prefer to just stay home. It could mean the opposite of those as well. Ultimately, both partners need to be willing to give in to the other at least once in a while to show true respect. However, giving in should never mean that you have to compromise your morals or values, and if you are asking your partner to do this, you are asking too much of them and not showing them the kind of respect they deserve.

Ultimately, the more respect you show to one another, the better your relationship will be. Once you have that respect in place, and the trust that goes along with it, it's time to step up the romance.

The Hopeful Romantic

Romance is not only an important part of an intimate relationship, but also can be the best part of it. It can make life wonderful for both people involved, and bring them close when life threatens to tear at the fabric of their relationship. Romance is the glue that truly brings couples together.

There are many ways to be romantic, and being romantic may mean different things to different people. To some, nothing but candlelight and roses will do, while others may find a nice hike together followed by a picnic to be a better choice. Some prefer an expensive restaurant, while others may like a dinner at home that they cook together. However, while each person may have different preferences and different ideas of what romance means to them, the need for love is universal.

Sometimes it can seem like romance has to fall by the wayside as life takes over. Some people think that romance is too expensive, or too time consuming, but it doesn't have to be. Romantic gestures need neither a lot of time or money. They can cost money. They can be time consuming, but only if you choose for them to be.

Where romance is concerned, it's often those thoughtful little gestures that mean the most. It could be a note or quick text to tell your significant other how much you love them. It may be as simple as making or bringing home their favorite dinner just to surprise them. Sometimes romance even means taking the time to listen when your spouse has had a hard day. Sometimes it even means taking over a chore that they would normally do, just to be nice or saying thank you for the things they do to help out the household.

This not to say that the big gestures don't have a place, too. The best relationships have a good balance of both. Big gestures don't always have to cost money, either. They can be gifts of time or love. The most romantic gesture I ever remember my husband doing for me was the night that he made our bed and lit candles in our bedroom after I'd had an especially difficult time putting our daughter to bed. It was so sweet to go into our room and see how beautiful it looked. All of the stress of the day just melted away, and although there was no cost involved, it was a very big gesture.

As time goes by, I hope that you will find ideas that will inspire you to be more romantic. Whether you are in a brand new relationship, or are celebrating many years together, a little extra
romance can keep your relationship strong.